It’s All About the Music

I’ve been feeling a little “blah” about ballet recently. It’s the weirdest thing, since it’s my one hobby that I’m super passionate about. Is it boredom? Is it because I am preoccupied with my thesis and graduate school final review (I graduate next Friday, y’all– yay!)? Is it because I’ve not been able to make class every single week, so my body/technique isn’t getting stronger? Maybe it’s because my knees are starting to give me problems. Whatever the reason– I’ve been feeling quite “meh” and not able to get my head into the game.

Today in class we had a different instructor– and he did something interesting. At the beginning of class, we spent 20 minutes doing some stretching and floor barre that felt really nice. What really struck me about it though was the music. For once it wasn’t boring ballet piano music (because my goodness am I tired of THAT!). It was a variety of orchestral, asian-influenced music along with some slower songs that were extremely slow, emotional, but powerful. There was something about it that really gave me that bit of… whatever I needed. Even though we returned to ballet piano music afterward, I still felt more energized than normal.

How about you? Does the music used in class affect you strongly? What is your favorite type of music to hear in ballet class?

Who Put Cement in My Breakfast?!

A delightful pastel piece by “Barbymae” on Wet Canvas.

So last week I couldn’t go to class because of scheduling issues with Neighborina. We went this morning, and let me tell you– it was one of my worst classes in a long time. I was just straight up TIRED. My body was not responding the way I wanted it to. All of my strength was gone, my legs were heavier than usual, and even though the combinations were moderately challenging, my body just glared at me and said, “Whatever. I’m not doing this! Not even the easy stuff!” I couldn’t keep track of the combinations, and all of my usual strength and pep was completely absent. I just sweated and winced and struggled. I doubt anyone in that room would have believed that I’ve been dancing for a long as I have. What the hay?!

I figure it’s partly to do with missing a week of class. I think it’s also because overall my lifestyle has changed since I’ve moved here to Burbank. I’m not walking everywhere all the time, and I have access to all sorts of junk food that I didn’t used to. I’ve started feeling icky (um, and gaining weight too). I’ve been consumed with finishing my graduate thesis, and not doing things the way I usually do them. Graduate school– ruining lives since the dawn of time!

I can’t do too much about it until my thesis is over (May 7th! D-Day approaches!!), but in the meantime I’ve decided that this is no good and I need to put the brakes on my habits. I’ve also got a new 1.6 mile walking track picked out, and I’m gonna start doing it every day because walking was my main source of fitness in San Francisco. I gotta get my strength back! Encouraging comments always appreciated!

Whoa! Dem Arches!

---

I was watching videos on Youtube (because you know how that goes– one cute cat video turns into a five hour marathon…), and Youtube suggested this video for me. Whoa. Just whoa. This dancer, Isabelle Ciaravola, is gorgeous and graceful. The video of her dancing is amazing, but the thing that grabbed my attention the most was her arches! Those feet point at what looks like 90 degrees! Do you SEE those roll throughs to relevé? She must have the softest shanks and the strongest feet in the world. They articulate as if they have about… 5 more joints in them than the rest of us.

My own feet point acceptably straight– my left moreso than my right. I can get over my box en pointe almost consistently, while my right side is stubborn. I definitely don’t have the desired “banana feet.” How far do YOUR feet point?

On Extension

This girl ain’t me. I can hardly hit 90 degrees on a good day.

There are days where my body just hates me in class. It’s amazing how I can visualize myself moving a particular way– even FEEL it, to a point. But then when I try to go do it, it’s as if someone cut some of the communications lines between my brain and my body. Today was one of those days. In particular, my extension was bothering me. Normally I don’t worry about it as much, but when you’re in a class with girls who are consistently hitting over 90 degrees of extension, it gets to you.

It doesn’t help when the instructor points at you and says, “At least 90 degrees, please.” I winced and smiled apologetically, and then my leg twitched in an attempt to go higher. I was à la seconde, and my leg just wasn’t getting above 50 degrees. “Higher!” she requests, and my leg barks back “Oh no, really, I couldn’t. No I mean really. I couldn’t.” I apologized for my leg’s bad manners, of course.

I know that extension is a tricky beast. It uses your quads and your turnout muscles– pushing your leg into the air by rotating it from underneath is not really an easy thing to understand, much less actually do. The instructor came over and held my leg, poking at my hip and tell me to relax my hip joint and push from underneath. I did it, she smiles, and then lets go of my leg, expecting it to magically stay in place. Aaaaaaaand of course my leg just slowly sinks right back down to where it was, giving her the side-eye like no one’s business. (Why does my leg have eyes? And for that matter, why is it talking? Just roll with me here.) I should get leg warmers with this face printed on them: ಠ_ಠ

It’s like I was born with cement blocks tied to my feet. LIFTliftliftliftliftandnowsinkingsinkingsinking… fail. Maybe it’s time to make a concerted effort to improve my extension instead of just hiding in the back of the room and quietly reprimanding my 300 lbs appendages for not doing what I ask them to. Hm!

O Studio, Where Art Thou?

Hooray! I finally have a new leotard

So after a bit of an adventure, I think I’ve found a new studio here in Los Angeles. There are tons and tons of studios here because LA is full of actors/dancers/ singers/hordesoftalentedpeople, but I have some requirements and limitations! I know, I know, I’m picky. Whatever, I’ve been dancing for a long time now, I’m allowed to be! My major limitations are that 1) I don’t have a car and 2) I am low on funds (story of a graduate student’s life) and so I need to find affordable (read: approx $15) classes that are close by.

The first studio that I tried is sorta close to me, but there weren’t any bus lines going directly there. That means I’d have to bum a ride from someone each time or walk about 40 minutes, and either option would get old quickly. The studio itself was AWESOME– super luxurious dressing rooms, great dance floors, the price was right, and they had a friendly staff. The lockers were free to use, and they had showers, hair dryers, moisturizer, the WORKS. The ballet instructor wasn’t someone that I jived with, though. She was a delicate, delightful dancer. However, she seemed more interested in showing off her “I still got it!” skills than actually teaching her students. If we didn’t understand something, she didn’t really break it down or explain the technique behind it. Also the label of “Beginner” class was completely incorrect. She had long, complicated combinations that no truly beginner level dancer could handle. I asked her about it after class, and she told me that all of her classes are pretty much the same level. Hu-what? How does that even work? She was the only instructor available too, so I decided that perhaps I’d try out some other places.

The next place I wanted to try was really exciting because it was within walking distance from my house. It was a Russian style school (and I’ve mostly studied ABT style), but I didn’t want to let that deter me since I already had limited choices. I walked in to get more information, and was immediately put off. The front desk girl was friendly enough, and the sign said they had “adult” classes, but it wasn’t the normal adult type of school I was used to. Drop-in classes were $20 a pop (WHOA), and in order to bring the price down to a slightly more manageable $17, I had to enroll in a weird payment program that included a once-a-week schedule that didn’t allow for makeups if you missed a class. Well that just stinks. Not to mention there was a color-coded leotard dress code (!), and you had to take a placement class to be put into the proper level (!!!!). That translates to: I’d end up in a class with 12 year olds. NO THANK YOU.

Finally, I lucked out. Turns out my new downstairs neighbor used to be a dancer, and was looking into going back to classes. She mentioned a studio that I’d spotted, but was over in North Hollywood, so it was beyond my reach. The price was right, and they have ballet classes at our level every morning. So Neighborina and I went to check it out, and lo and behold– EXACTLY what I was looking for!! I’ve gone about three times now and had two different teachers. The studio floors are a bit icky in some places and the classes are typically crowded, but the vibe is laid back and the instructors are focused on teaching. I also investigated, and there is a bus line that runs directly from my house to the studio, so that’s a nice perk too. I forsee it becoming a problem when I get a job– their ballet classes are only in the morning, and a work schedule would conflict with that. For now, however, it seems to be working just fine!

I was truly spoiled rotten up in San Francisco. I hope to be able to explore more studios in the area once I get a job and therefore a car.

The Mazurka and Pointe Shoes

>>Very slightly broken in Capezio Glisses I was fitted for in 2008.

In class yesterday, we did a Mazurka. It’s quite possibly one of my favorite ballet movements, now! The music was great too– it was quite easy to imagine myself performing on a giant stage with lights, a peasant costume, and everything! That sort of moment is one I live for in ballet class.

I also may have converted another friend into a ballet buddy. I brought her to the beginning ballet class last night because she was curious and interested. For not having done ballet since she was five, she was pretty good at it. She seemed like she had fun too; that’s always the most important part! I hope she joins me again soon. Ballet is always 2x as fun when you have a buddy that keeps you on your toes (pun intended).

A few posts ago I mentioned that I finally got graduated to pointe, and I’ve officially been able to work it into my ballet schedule twice a week, now! It’s just a short bit at the end of my Tuesday and Friday classes, but it’s very gratifying. For the first time since I was fitted for pointe shoes, I’ve been able to use them enough to know what sort of changes to make to them. I’ve learned that I need to loosen the drawstrings and reposition the elastics to work better on my feet. I’m also currently using gel pouches as my padding, but they may not be the perfect thing for me. I still get a lot of pressure on my big toe, so I might need slightly thicker padding there. I feel like beginning pointe is a long string of trial and error until you find whatever works the best for you.

Recital!

I did it! I survived my first solo! For all my nerves and anxiety, the moment I actually got on the stage brought me a brilliant clarity and I just danced. I reviewed the video afterward and definitely noticed some spots where I messed up or didn’t reach hard enough (like my big grand jeté)… but overall it wasn’t terrible. My port de bras is definitely the one thing that I have going for me. If my legs don’t always listen to me, at least my arms do. Haha! And of course my solo burned off all my stage fright so my group dance went off without a hitch– no nervousness at all! I definitely had some issues controlling my balance, and even stumbled a tiny bit in one spot. I guess that’s just the performance aspect of ballet.

I had a huge turnout of friends and classmates from my graduate school come to show their support. I was absolutely floored and elated! One friend even brought me a little bouquet of daisies! I was so happy I could just explode. My school really outdid themselves supporting the dance “department” (it’s really just a section of their campus rec and wellness center) and letting us art students express ourselves in a different way. They had prize giveaways, an art gallery, a professional light guy, pro videographers and photographers, and even refreshments!

Videos and more details coming soon!

Knee-ded a Break

I had to take a week off class because my knees were acting up. I’ve got issues with my knees to begin with– I’ve dislocated the left one three times. Basically the issue is that my ligaments are too long (it’s called hypermobility syndrome) and it causes a whole host of problems. Anyway, I don’t mess around when it comes to my knees. Once those things are messed up you can kiss dancing (and walking, and kneeling, and anything) goodbye. They both hurt a bit, so I decided I must’ve pulled or twisted something slightly and gave them a break to recover. I have no problem pushing myself sometimes, but NEVER with my knees.

After my break, I went right back to class and was pleased to discover my one ballet teacher subbing for the other! It was fun seeing her out of context of her normal class– which is a beginning level. She was subbing for my intermediate instructor, so I was eager to see what her style of teaching would be like ramped up a bit. It was great, and definitely challenging. I also had forgotten my ballet slippers like a fool, and had to dance in socks for the first time ever. Wasn’t THAT a hoot?

What’s funny though is that BOTH teachers have noticed within a few weeks of each other that my front knee muscles (I believe they’re called VMOs) are weak. I get all of my leg strength out of locking/hyperextending my knees (which is bad) and my feet and ankles (which isn’t as bad– just means they’re strong enough to make up for my weak knees). After it was pointed out to me that I am hyperextending my standing leg, I realize that I lock my knees all the time even when standing or walking normally. My new mission is to beat those knees into submission– I need to stand strong WITHOUT hyperextending! It’s hard. I’m also doing some old physical therapy exercises to see if that helps build up my knee muscles some more.

In other news– choreographing my own ballet is really tough. I’ve got some passages all figured out… and then keep improvising in between them to chain them together. That’s probably a terrible idea and it needs to be fixed before my performance. Can you imagine me up on stage freezing up because I can’t figure out what to do in between two phrases? Not a pretty sight…

Reflections

In excitement for my upcoming recital at the end of April, I thought I’d share the video from last year’s! It was my very first time doing ballet on a stage. When I was 6 I did tap dance which included a performance, but since I was so young it didn’t really occur to me to be terrified. THIS recital, exactly 20 years after my tap recital, rendered me nearly immobile with fear. I got through it though!

The title of the piece is Reflections and was choreographed by Julia Hollas. The music was Anitra’s Dance from the Peter Gynt Suite. Some of my fellow classmates had only been doing ballet for a few months at the time of this recital– what brave souls!! I think we all did a marvelous job. Let’s hear it for adult beginning dancers getting chances to perform on stage! It’s a rare chance, for sure. Getting to share your love of dance with others is just as important as learning to dance itself.

Putting yourself out there is scary– heck, this video was taken a year ago, and I can see tons of things wrong with how I danced (I’ve learned a LOT since then). I’m glad I did it. It was super rewarding! I am looking forward to this year’s recital even more.

P.S. I’m the blonde with the super light green leotard that starts second from the right at the beginning.

Turning Point

I like to think back over the past six years of dance and think about my Favorite Moments that I’ve had so far:

Taking class in Italy

Taking a partnering class at my alma mater

Getting fitted for my pointe shoes

My first ever recital

Yesterday I added something new to the list: my first private lesson! This was a ballet dream of mine ever since the beginning, but never knew how to make it happen. Perhaps it’s just as well– I feel like if I’d had a private lesson before now, I may not have benefited from it much. I would’ve been too busy falling all over myself to really get what I was being told.

Anyway, yesterday I definitely benefited from it. After taking a non-normal Friday class, we then launched into the private lesson. We focused on turning and leaping– I feel like turning is my biggest weakness. I got a lot of insight into what I’m doing well and what I need to fix. A lot of my problems with turning stem from letting myself get distracted by thinking too much. (Apparently I need to follow my own advice.)

My instructor taught me a handy trick for remembering which way to turn– did YOU know that if you prepare for a pirouette in fourth position, you’re turning en dehors? And, if you prepare in a 4th lunge, you are turning en dedans? This absolutely blew my mind. BLEW MY MIND, I tell you! And while my mind was trying to wrap around this, she then tells me I’m a natural turner. That blew my mind still further. It blew it so much that I feel like I just kind of blinked and made dumb noises for a few seconds before I could form a coherent sentence.

I also learned a cool turn called a Lame Duck. Amusement about the name aside, it was a very challenging kind of turn that is essentially a backward piqué turn. And, it turns out, if something is backwards and difficult, I get it quickly. Conversely, if it’s easy and natural, I screw it up constantly– what is wrong with my brain?! I also learned (and can now practice) the preparation for fouette turns. I’m particularly excited about that.

At the end, we focused on grand jetés. Now, I’ve always loved grand jetés, but they’re difficult because I never really have a chance to explore them enough. In class, combinations with grand jetés are so short that I can never really internalize it. Twice across the floor– screw it up, and you don’t have a chance to keep practicing and fix it. This definitely solved that problem.

I did grand jetés for almost ten minutes straight. Back and forth and back and forth– attempting to fix my wild arms and push harder with my back foot. So at the end, gasping for breath, I’d say I had a very good chance to try to learn and then fix everything that was wrong. It was also SUPER CARDIO. I haven’t had a stitch in my side like that in a very long time.

The icing on the cake was getting permission to bring my pointe shoes to class to use for 5 minutes after class. Apparently my ankles and feet are strong enough again to pick up where the pointe training almost started back in 2008! Victory!

I left the studio walking on air– and then crashed in bed and slept for far, far too long. Apparently a long work week coupled with almost three hours of ballet is enough to knock me out for close to ten hours. Hah!